The Top Six Characters I Want in the Next Smash Bros. that Have No Chance of Making It

When it comes to Nintendo’s Super Smash Bros. series, it seems like the one thing everybody always talks about is the roster. No matter what gaming site, blog or forum you visit, you’re bound to find a topic dedicated entirely to fans discussing and debating which characters deserve to be in the game, who they think will be in the game and who they want in the game. We here at Adamant Ditto have plenty of discussions about it, in fact, before Super Smash Bros. Brawl was released, it was all we talked about.

Everybody has their own opinions and favorites when it comes to Nintendo characters and it’s not hard to see why. Nintendo more so than any other gaming company out there has so many lovable and unique characters, there’s always going to be some character that people feel was unfairly left out. Though sometimes, it can be a little ridiculous. Just because a character is cool doesn’t mean they stand a chance of being playable. You may be a big fan of Umbreon or Agent J. from the Elite Beat Agents but chances are, they weren’t even considered.

Though thinking about it, we'll probably get Wesker instead.

So that’s what I’m looking at today. I’m counting down the top six characters I want in the next Smash Bros. game but have no chance of making it on the roster. Now keep in mind, this isn’t my list of my most wanted characters, there’s plenty I want in the next game that I feel actually stand a decent chance, such as Krystal, King K. Rool, Lil’ Mac, Starfy, Mega Man, I could go on and on. Yet, there are some characters I want to see that I know have no chance whatsoever of ever being playable. So without further delay, let’s begin the list.

6. Gooey from Kirby’s Dream Land 3

Chicks dig the tongue.

Oh Gooey, how I love you and your complete and utter ridiculousness.  If you don’t know, Gooey is the player 2 character in Kirby’s Dream Land 3 for the Super Nintendo. He’s a weird blue blob that supposedly was created from the remnants of Dark Matter. The difference is Gooey’s a good guy and Dark Matter is pure evil. Gooey acts and controls the same way Kirby does; he can float, he can absorb enemies and powers by using his long tongue, he’s just like Kirby only far goofier. It’s really simple to come up with a moveset for Gooey, especially if you just look at everything Dream Land 3 has to offer. Gooey can team up with the variety of animal partners, he could use the clean ability (my favorite), he could throw himself as a cutter, he could use spark or parasol or any number of the abilities from that game Kirby doesn’t already utilize. In fact, if you want a great example of how Gooey could work as a viable and unique character, head over to the custom section of The Spriter’s Resource and look OmegaKyogre’ssheet, it’s fantastic. So with all the possibility with Gooey, why would he never be playable? Well, while he’s more deserving than most other Kirby characters, he’s still only been in two games. The Kirby series really only has three constant characters; Kirby, King Dedede and Meta Knight, and all three are already playable in Brawl. Each Kirby game tends to have a different villain, different supporting characters and even in the few multiplayer games there has been, the second player was different. While Gooey is definitely a very likable and memorable character from the Kirby universe, he’s just not all that important and as I mentioned, the Kirby series is as well represented as it ever possibly could be in Brawl.  So as much as I love Gooey and want to see him as a playable character, it isn’t going to happen.

5. Toad from Super Mario Bros.

Though he's a bit too adorable to beat up.

When it comes down to it, Toad is my all-time favorite video game character. My reasons might be a little shallow (he was my favorite in Mario Kart 64) but his long history in the series and his ever present place in the games has earned him a lifetime place in my heart. So why is he so low on my list? Well, he’s probably the least deserving of the characters on this list. While Toad is the only remaining character from Mario’s big 8 to not be playable in a Smash Bros. game, his importance in the games has dwindle over the years because of the introduction of Toads being a species and not just a character. Yes, there is only one Toad but there’s a bunch of toads. Just like there’s only one Yoshi but a bunch of yoshis. If that makes any sense. The character Toad is the one you all know with the red spots and blue vest. The one that’s always playable in spin-off games or the referee or something. His importance in the main games has recently been usurped by Toadsworth and in Sunshine and both Galaxy games, there’s five toads instead of just the one Toad. In fact, the toad with red spots in those two games doesn’t wear the trademark blue vest and instead dons a red vest so it might not even be the same Toad. But then, I might be looking too heavily into things. Regardless, I feel Toad is an important player in the Mario universe but not important enough to be playable. While a moveset could certainly be forged, I’d say make it involve abilities from NEW Super Mario Bros. Wii, Super Mario Bros. 2 and a handful of the spin-off titles, it’s not very likely, especially considering Toad is one of Peach’s moves. Even though I’d rather see Waluigi or Bowser Jr. as a future Mario representative in the Smash Bros. games, I’d still be extremely excited if Nintendo did choose to go with Toad. He deserves it if you ask me, but it just isn’t very likely.

4. Captain Rainbow from Captain Rainbow

Looking at this image, you want him in now too, huh?

Never heard of Captain Rainbow? Well, let me enlighten you. Captain Rainbow is a Wii game released in Japan in 2008 developed by Skip Ltd. It’s a bizarre adventure game where you play as Nick, a washed-up actor famous for his role as the superhero Captain Rainbow. When the Captain Rainbow show lost it’s popularity, Nick traveled Mimin Island, a place where wishes are said to come true and runs into a bunch of classic, but forgotten, old Nintendo characters like Lil’ Mac, Lip from Panel de Pon and Ossan, the main character from the NES game, Golf. Nick has to help all these forgotten characters overcome their own problems and ultimately solve his own. He can transform into Captain Rainbow and fight off enemies on the island threatening to take away the wishes and dreams of the people on the island. It’s a very weird, very Japanese game that we never got in the West. In fact, it was too Japanese even for Japan. Captain Rainbow was a financial bomb, selling only about 20,000 copies in Japan in 2008. That’s not a lot for one of the most populated countries on Earth. Either way, Captain Rainbow is an awesome and hilarious character that would make a perfect combatant in Super Smash Bros. His trademark attack is a Yo-Yo, which could be used for most of his attacks and since he is a superhero, he could also have plenty of melee moves as well. I know Nintendo could come up with a great moveset for him, I mean, if they can do it for Captain Falcon and Captain Olimar, why not Captain Rainbow? Too bad the obscurity of the game outside of Japan as well as its financial disappointment in Japan will likely prevent Captain Rainbow from even getting a mention in the next Smash let alone a spot on the roster.

3. Jill from Drill Dozer

If you haven’t played the Game Boy Advance swan song Drill Dozer, stop reading this article and do it. Do it now. I’ll wait.

Aw look how cute she is as she digs into my skull!

You done? Good. Drill Dozer is an amazing little action-platformer developed by Pokemon developers, GameFreak. Unfortunately, because of how late it was released in the GBA’s lifespan and the fact that it was a completely new IP, it was ignored by the general public. It’s a real shame because it’s a fantastic game and has a fantastic protagonist, a young girl named Jill who uses a mini mechsuit called a Dozer to drill through walls. It totally blew my mind when Jill ended up being an assist trophy in Brawl because I didn’t think Nintendo cared about Drill Dozer enough for that but man was it awesome. I really want to see Jill in the Dozer as a character, I think she has a lot of potential. Because she’d need to use the suit to fight, she could be the first small heavy weight character. She has a pretty wide variety of moves at her disposal, too. Obviously she can drill which would be her primary form of attack but she can also dash and even fly through the air using a propeller upgrade for the drill. It’s practically like they were designing her to be in Smash Bros. Too bad because of her obscurity, she likely hasn’t even been considered. I’d play as her that’s for sure. Oh well, I can settle for an assist trophy I guess.

2. Mike Jones from StarTropics

Who?

Now here’s a character that really has no chance of ever being in one of these games. Mike Jones is the main hero of the two StarTropics games released on the NES in the US and the UK. It was a Zelda style adventure game developed by Nintendo but never released in Japan. It’s gained sort of a cult following amongst Nintendo fans but it’s certainly one of the least remember first party games of the NES library. Still, Mike would make an awesome character. Because of the nature of the game being a sort of action/rpg, you gain all sorts of cool upgrades throughout the game. Mike’s primary weapons of choice are a yo-yo and a baseball bat, he is American after all, but throughout the course of the game you get stronger, more unique items such as daggers, ball and chains, hammers and even a few magic spells. The wide selection of variety in Mike’s arsenal is why I think he could be such a diverse character. He’d be similar to Link in that he’d have a lot of different weapons at his disposal. Maybe his primary attack is with a yo-yo or a bat but perhaps he busts out the magic for a special or uses the ball and chain for a smash attack. He could definitely bring something fun and new to the table. Also the main villains from the game, Zoda, would make an epic boss battle if they brought those back. Too bad nobody, especially Nintendo, really cares about StarTropics. Oh well. Sorry Mike. Maybe next time you’ll get a sticker at least.

1. Geno from Super Mario RPG

*Sniffle*

I’m sure you all saw this one coming. Yes, the one character I want in the next Smash Bros. more than any other character just happens to be one of the characters with as little chance as possible of making. So many people want to see Geno in the next Smash. So many. He was one of the most requested characters for Brawl. Everywhere you went, somebody was talking about how great it would be if Geno was playable. But let’s be real people, Geno hasn’t been seen for 15 years. Nintendo doesn’t even seem to own the complete rights to him. It just isn’t likely that Geno will ever be seen again, let alone playable in a Nintendo All-Star event sort of game. Regardless of his likelihood, Geno would be one of the most fun characters they could ever put in a Smash. Think of all the moves he has. He can shoot his fists, he can shoot missiles out of his elbow, bullets out of his fingers, lasers out of his fingers, he can turn into a cannon! He can turn into a frickin’ cannon! Tell me that wouldn’t make an awesome final smash. Geno is just such a likable and cool character. Even after 15 years of not being in anything, fans still talk about him and hope to see him return. I’m one of them. I think Geno, as well as the majority of the cast from SMRPG, do deserve to come back in some way, shape or form, even if it isn’t a sequel or appearance in a Smash game. I’d settle for cameos in some of the Mario sports titles. Geno for Mario Kart? I think yes! No matter which way you slice it, Geno is an awesome character and one everybody would love to see make a glorious come back in a Smash Bros. game, fighting his way to the top once again. Too bad Nintendo just doesn’t seem to like him like we do.

So there you have it. The six characters I’d love to see in the next Smash Bros. but never ever will be. I’m sure you all disagree but let’s be honest, we all have characters we love and want to see return but simply never will. So feel free to discuss who you’d like to see in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.